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Guards! Guards!

Written on February 28, 2025 by Foxy

Categories: A-tier

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The following post was written before I started this website, as such the notes consist of quotes and summary thoughts as I read the book. I’ve pulled the book club’s thoughts together at the top, along with the original score and the new tier ranking.

Final thoughts

Fucking awesome, best one yet, such a big step up in quality I can remember why people recommend starting here not colour of magic. He’s so into his stride, the plot is tight and packed with jokes and ideas, the characters are all who they will be, just spot on.

This is an A-tier Pterry book!

Favourite quotes

  • The Door of Knowledge Through Which the Untutored May Not Pass sticks something wicked in the damp.
  • People who are rather more than six feet tall and nearly as broad across the shoulders often have uneventful journeys. People jump out at them from behind rocks then say things like, “Oh. Sorry. I thought you were someone else.”
  • They had three grown-up children, all born, Vimes had assumed, as a result of extremely persuasive handwriting.
  • “This city is a woman”
    “It’s 8 miles wide sir”
    “Never said it was a small woman”
  • They opened into another world, a world of quite stupefying problems. Slab Throat. The Black Tups. Dry Lung. Storge. Staggers, Heaves, Weeps, Stones. It was amazing, he decided after reading a few pages, that a swamp dragon ever survived to see a second sunrise. Even walking across a room must be reckoned a biological triumph.
  • They lived on a chemical knife-edge the whole time. One misplaced hiccup and they were geography.
  • Live fast, die wide.
  • Dunmanifestin, the stuccoed Valhalla, where the gods faced eternity with the kind of minds that were at a loss to know what to do to pass a wet afternoon.

Thoughts during reading

  • Dragons~
  • The door gag with the brotherhoods all being so similar
  • The letter! witch Garlick is the one who helps write it!
  • The introduction of Nobby Nobbs
  • Every scene with Sybil is amazing
  • The librarians of time and space, and l-space!
  • When Wonse calls the guard they’re very aware they’re in a fantasy book. “worse attacking someone unarmed and grinning, he’s gonna do something heroic“.
  • THE FUCKING RATS IN THE DUNGEON LET’S GO
  • The idea of making the shot harder so it’s a true million to one odd.
  • The legal rights keep getting sillier, right to pirahna tank? Right to trial by ordeal??


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